Yeah, so I'm totally the parent today at school that has to be told that Drake is having a problem hitting. Which I guess I could have figured since when I ask him what he did at school each time he says, "I hit." Great job, exactly what I like to hear. So, here's the low down:
Problem: Unprovoked hitting by my almost 3 year old. It is definitely a problem at school, with other kids, and younger sister.
Our attempts at fixing the problem: CONSISTENT time outs and being sent to his room. Taking him OUT of the situation. Not necessarily a big fan of spanking. Not that it hasn't been done. I have. But, I feel like I'm saying, "hey don't hit, but if you do, I'm gonna hit you back, and it's ok if I hit."
Why? Seriously where does this come from?? He does NOT watch anything violent. I'm a pretty calm person myself. I don't ever randomly get mad at people, and obviously he's seen Brandon and I argue, but nothing unordinary. This has got to stop. It's been going on for like a year now and I have to do something more about it. Anyway, I kept thinking oh he'll grow out of it, but not happenin' people and I have pretty much had it. So, any advice AT ALL is greatly accepted.
7 comments:
Gracey wasn't really ever a hitter, but she had her own little ways of throwing tantrums that were ridiculously uncalled for. The trick with her was when we finally started putting HER toys in timeout. We put them in a location that she could see at all times but couldn't have. Then she would earn it back by doing something kind and unasked for. She hated her toys being in time out, so much more than her being in it herself. Somehow that did the trick.
Each kid is SO DIFFERENT. My Emily couldn't give a crap if she had a toy in timeout. So maybe that wouldn't work with Drake.
Maybe (if you decide to try that) let him know that if the teacher tells you that he has hit again, a toy goes in time out....even though you didn't see him do it.
Sorry that is so so so long. Other than that little fancy we did with Gracey, I have no more ideas.
Two words...COLD...SHOWER! We've not implemented this method yet because Gavin doesn't have any bad habits worthy of such a consequence, but I've heard that it works. We want to save it for when he starts doing something more difficult to punish...like hitting, etc. You don't actually put them in the shower, but you turn on the shower, cold of course, and the you quickly put there head in. It's a jolt, shock, uncomfortable and not something that he can easily do to someone else (like spanking). Give it a shot. Communicate to him that next time he hits he's getting a cold shower. It's gotta work...NOBODY like a cold shower.
Travis
Alana here. Not really agreeing with what sounds creepily like water boarding (above) but then again, I guess whatever works.
Anika hits me in the face when I am holding her and she is mad. Before her I would have always blamed the parents but she has never even seen hitting, not even on a cartoon. It just seems to be an innate reaction, nothing to do with the parents.
I, too, am at a loss. I always just pull her hand off and say no but she thinks it's a game so now I just set her down immediately when she does it.
If you figure it out I NEED THE ADVICE PASSED ON TO ME!!!
Good Luck!
Welcome to having a BOY! Like you said, just be consistent. Cooper has some minor behavior problems at school and I am extreamly consistent so I asked his teacher what to do and she told me to be CONSISTENT! If time outs aren't working then up the punishment. Find something that he really really really loves and take it away, then make him earn it back. That has been working with Cooper. We take his bike away for one week every time we get a "bad report card" from school and make him earn it back with good behavior at school. So hopefullly with lots of talks from DAD and consistentcy from us we will shape him up to be the boy I dream he will be.
I remember having lots of ruff days with Isaak, boys are hard. If you ever need a brake send Drake over, and we will keep him for awhile.. Hang in there..
I don't have kids so I can't say first hand. But I do listen to this radio show every morning and on Thursdays they have a parenting expert and he recommends this website http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/763.html
Nine steps to follow. Also he has a book called scream free parenting and it is supposed to be awesome. I have heard alot of good feedback from the listeners that he does a good job. SO maybe that will help..
Kelli,
Hey it's Camie, Julie's cousin from the other side :) Anyways I love your photography picutres so I am always checking out your blog and I just had to comment on this one. I have three kids and it sound like your little guy is right in the middle of my first two with age and I have tried EVERYTHING with them the one thing that is finally kindof working is an obedience chart. I put them on the fridge and just reward good behavior. When we go to the store I will let them pick out a small thing that we keep in the cubbord until they get 10 stickers or 20 stickers depending on what the toy is. This way I felt like they could see what they were working for and keep encouraging nice behavior. Good luck, I'm sure he will grow out of it but the hard part is keeping moms sane waiting for different stages to pass. Again... I love your pictures, you are very talented!
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