


I feel I've been in somewhat of a slump the past few days. I swear I shut out the world when i am like this. I'm like a bottle that can't be opened and I am just ready to explode. I've always had a hard time expressing my feelings and I always put up a wall. Why is this?? Does anyone else share the same feeling. So, in hopes to release something inside of me I thought I would try to talk about it or anything for that matter.
My mom is here with me for the summer! I am so glad to have her here. Growing up there were times I would just go lay with my mom in her bed and we would talk late into the night. We did this again last night. These are some of my favorite memories with my mom. A haven where my world slows down and finds peace. Through out the years I know I have come to peace with my mom being blind. When I was younger I used to pray every night that she would be able to see again. It slowly faded off through out the years, because I know she will see again, but I believe not in this lifetime.
So randomly though, the other night I found myself pleaing and sobbing to my Heavenly Father for my mom to see again in this life. Probably cause I know He is the Master of all things and could return her sight in an instant, but why not? I can't tell you how long it's been since I have prayed for that and it's not even for my sake. I hate having to watch her struggle and feel useless, and worthless. It's been 21 years and she has endured so many things. I have my why? moments, which I am sure everyone has. Obviously I know there is a purpose and reason for whatever challenges we face in this life, but that doesn't mean sometimes I can't just flat out think it sucks.
On another note. My children keep my joy a flowin' that's for sure. They are what keep me wanting to be a better person. It's amazing the feelings that are created in your life when you have children to share it with. They make everything okay. Well, I think this is long enough for today. There is a ton more on my mind, but a little at time. Right? Hope you all have a wonderful Thursday! xoxo.